Happy New Year

A very happy New Year to everyone and the hope that the new year will bring the best for all. and wonderful blessings.

The Temptations - Give Love On Christmas Day (Gordy Records 1980)

This is one song we all grew up listening but the Jackson 5 version or the original version. The words
really describe what is the most important gift which is love. Everybody needs love not only on Christmas but everyday. so today and everyday, let us try to give love to family, friends and everyone else.

Merry Christmas to everyone and thanks for stopping by.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

To everyone have the best Christmas with or without your family.

Door prize

and aboutA while back I posted that I won a prize when I was shopping in Vancouver. The store had mailed it and a few days ago I received it. Just in time for Christmas baking. It was really nice and useful.

And about two months ago, I bought an air fryer and we have been doing all kinds of chicken wings recipes and they turned out really well and not greasy as no oil is used to cook anything. On New Year's Eve I might try onion blossom.

Here is the first recipe of wings I did, just simple salt, pepper and garlic and was yummy.

A very sad news

The holidays is usually a time of happiness and enjoyment celebrated with one's family. Two days ago, I was informed that my ex mother-in-law passed away. She was 88 years old. It is always very sad when death happens during the holidays season. She had shoulder surgery due to cancer and was starting to recuperate when she had a heart attack. She was brought to the hospital and they resuscitated her even though I heard she did not want it. But they also found out that she developed an infection and I guess that was very painful so maybe this was a blessing.

The whole family was relieved though sad and they realized she won't be suffering anymore.
To the whole family I offer my deepest condolence. Rest in peace, Cecilia

The Legacy of An Adopted Child - Conclusion

In the last 3 years there was hardly any communication with him. He was seriously involved with this girl and they kept breaking up and making up. And the girl got pregnant. The one time he called was to announce this. But the relationship has become really bad and physical. They had a baby girl born November. It is sad to say that I have not seen the baby except one picture on my younger son's phone. I had sent them 2 big bags of present and a crocheted blanket and even my sister made a nice baby blanket. But there was never a thank you.

About a year after the birth of the baby, there was a serious fight and the police was involved and he was given restraining order. But after sometime both of them ignored the order and lived together until another serious altercation and he was charged. Now he is facing serious charges. He does not see the baby anymore according to his father. The baby is now 2 years old.

About the same time, the orphanage from where we adopted him got in touch with him saying his birth mother is requesting to communicate with him. At first he did not know what to do and did not reply but later, he communicated with him. The birth mother communicated with his father to ask what was his childhood like. Then she requested to connect with my younger son although there was never any communication with him. I do not know who else she was communicating but there was never a request to communicate with me. I knew that it would not happen and never expected it.

A few days ago, my former husband told me that he lives very close to where I live. I have managed not to let him know where I had been living. He has a new girl friend. I do not know if there is still communication with his birth mother. I was told she wanted him to fly to the Philippines but at this time it is not possible for him to do that. The birth mother mentioned to my ex husband that she may travel to the Philippines.  I also found out that he has also communicated with his birth father who works in UAE.

When we adopted my only hope was that it would turn out ok. But I was also realistic that there have been a lot of cases where it has not turned out well. I have no regrets and deep within me, I believe that I have done my best and that is all I can do. He is an adult now and whatever or whoever he turned out to be was mostly his decision. And we are all responsible for any action we have taken.

Daayre Lyric Video - Dilwale | Shah Rukh Khan | Kajol | Varun Dhawan | K...

Daayre means boundaries in English. Boundaries in love that sometimes
separates us from loved ones. I like the song the first time I heard it. Enjoy.

The Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 5

As he reached his late teens. the problems got worse that sometimes I thought I know the police staff very well. I felt that even the home was running out of solutions to his problems. I never did have communication with him at this time. And I had told my former husband that I have prepared myself that one day the police would knock at my door and give me a really bad news. And about this time I was diagnosed with a very serious illness. So I was concerned for my health and his father was the one dealing with him and even he at this point was really getting frustrated.

When he was in his early twenties, it looked like he was improving that he called me and told me that he understood why I was so hard on him. At that point I felt a bit relieved that maybe things would work out for him. He had a job though he did not finish high school and he was still in French immersion. Things seems to be up and down and he still did not understand social consequences and still thinks he knows everything. When he speaks about his plans, they were so grand that sometimes I wonder if he has delusions of grandeur. He still has problems waking up and that is the usual reason why he would lose his jobs.

He has become so street smart that he could be evicted from the place he was staying, he has friends he could sleep for a few days and once he told us that one night he spent it at a Tim Horton's that was open 24 hours. His brother at one time saw him at a station of LRT. Once he called to wish me Happy Easter and Happy Birthday. There was a time, he was homeless and I had let him stay at my place but the lies and his attitude made it impossible to continue this arrangement and that was the start of the no communication. That was more than 3 years ago. By then he was around 27 or 28 years old.
It is also sad that he had unfriended his brother on Facebook. And this was also the time he was seriously involved with a girl and made his life start to go downhill again.

Christmas baking

I usually do a lot of different kinds of baking for Christmas but for this year, I just baked a few batches just to give away. I do not eat a lot cookies even during Christmas and being diabetic I try not to have too many temptations around in the kitchen. Also I have three friends who have moved out of Edmonton due to retirement so less friends to give cookies to.

This year I have made all cookies and no bars. It was convenient since I froze the dough and just took them out today and baked them. I guess I am getting old and not as adventurous in terms of trying out new recipes.

Here are four of the batches I did. I also baked this regular cut out sugar cookies. I forgot to take pictures as I was busy setting up our new dining set and assembling our new tv stand which I am proud to say I did all by myself.

Flowers

A while back I posted flower arrangements our Operations Manager brought to me every week. Before the end of the summer season, we went over to where he gets the flowers. The garden belongs to his ex mother -in-law. Since he had just bought a new house, his garden is not as prolific as was on his old house.

He is close to retiring and I am sure I will miss the flowers. Here are some pictures I took.

As you can see this dahlia is bigger than my face.

Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 4

After the move to Alberta, we noticed he was having a hard time controlling his anger and also not realizing or knowing the consequences of his actions. We had consulted social worker to ask for suggestions to handle him as he started not wanting to go to school. We noticed also his problem of not being able to wake up even with all the alarms and us physically waking him up.

One day, I was reading an article in our city newspaper and there was this item about Attachment Disorder. I continued reading it and realized that the the symptoms of this disorder he was showing.
When his problems got worse, we talked to a psychologist and our family doctor and mentioned about this disorder. At that time, it was not very well publicized and we contacted someone in the US regarding this. And so begin all the tests and meetings with professionals. In the meantime, he was getting worse that I was scared he would hurt his younger brother as he had started to be physical with him. When it got worse that I was really worried about safety, we had to make the decision to get Social Services to have temporary custody of him. It was the most difficult decision.

I was told that he did not want to have any more communication with me and his brother and we respected that. That Christmas, was the first time he came home but that turned into disaster, so by Christmas day, he was back at the residence.

At this time, even the staff at the home was having difficulty dealing with him. Now it was really getting serious that I am now considering giving up parental rights to him. And when I finally had to do that, I went to court and once it was over, I cried all the way home. My lawyer called later that day to check if I was ok.

For a while I told my husband I do not want to hear any of the news about him as I was getting so upset and it was affecting my health. That was also the time, our marriage ended. It was just a lot of differences between us regarding how to deal with his problems. It was also at this time that our son had other serious problem. Police also got involved with some of his problems. This time around, Social Services had permanent custody of him.

Christmas is upon us.....

It seems like Christmas is coming too soon. I have seen a lot of nice Christmas decoration on office lobbies except ours. I don't know if it has something to do with the owner who is Jewish. But our lobby at my residential tower is decorated really beautifully and simply.

I don't decorate my suite too much now but I might take a picture later once I have done a bit of decorating. I have taken this coming Friday off to do my Christmas baking and finalize what we will have for Christmas Eve and day dinner. 

As we have been celebrating by ourselves as we are so far away from family and friends, it has become a quiet and relaxing few days. I know this year we will watch a lot of movies as we bought a big screen tv - 65" 4K HUD.

Company Christmas Party

On the weekend of December 2-4 was our company's Christmas party. Our head office is located in Vancouver and the party was hes there. I work in the Edmonton office so they flew us to Vancouver and put us up to the closest hotel to the office and the party venue. It was just a very expensive 5 course meal at an Italian restaurant downtown.

The party was over at 9:30 and some of us went for a walk. Since I have bruised bone, I only went for a few blocks and went back to the hotel while catching pokemons on the way. Unfortunately I only caught 1 pokemon I don't have on my pokedex.


The next morning we walked to go for breakfast and the rest went to Granville Island. I stayed and walked the waterfront and went to some stores. There was a kitchen store called Cook Culture and I bought a few small items. The staff asked me to write my name and email to enter a raffle. Lo and behold three days later I received an email letting me know I won an Emile Henry ceramic baking set which they have mailed to me since I had to let them know I am from Edmonton.

I only took a few pictures on the water front.

It was a pleasant way to enjoy the weekend. Saturday after lunch, my nephew Anthony picked me up from the hotel and we drove around and I wanted to get special items from a Filipino bakery but they did not have it.

The only frustrating part was our flights were delayed both ways. This was my second flight on WestJet and I don't know if I will fly with them again.