The Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 5

As he reached his late teens. the problems got worse that sometimes I thought I know the police staff very well. I felt that even the home was running out of solutions to his problems. I never did have communication with him at this time. And I had told my former husband that I have prepared myself that one day the police would knock at my door and give me a really bad news. And about this time I was diagnosed with a very serious illness. So I was concerned for my health and his father was the one dealing with him and even he at this point was really getting frustrated.

When he was in his early twenties, it looked like he was improving that he called me and told me that he understood why I was so hard on him. At that point I felt a bit relieved that maybe things would work out for him. He had a job though he did not finish high school and he was still in French immersion. Things seems to be up and down and he still did not understand social consequences and still thinks he knows everything. When he speaks about his plans, they were so grand that sometimes I wonder if he has delusions of grandeur. He still has problems waking up and that is the usual reason why he would lose his jobs.

He has become so street smart that he could be evicted from the place he was staying, he has friends he could sleep for a few days and once he told us that one night he spent it at a Tim Horton's that was open 24 hours. His brother at one time saw him at a station of LRT. Once he called to wish me Happy Easter and Happy Birthday. There was a time, he was homeless and I had let him stay at my place but the lies and his attitude made it impossible to continue this arrangement and that was the start of the no communication. That was more than 3 years ago. By then he was around 27 or 28 years old.
It is also sad that he had unfriended his brother on Facebook. And this was also the time he was seriously involved with a girl and made his life start to go downhill again.

Christmas baking

I usually do a lot of different kinds of baking for Christmas but for this year, I just baked a few batches just to give away. I do not eat a lot cookies even during Christmas and being diabetic I try not to have too many temptations around in the kitchen. Also I have three friends who have moved out of Edmonton due to retirement so less friends to give cookies to.

This year I have made all cookies and no bars. It was convenient since I froze the dough and just took them out today and baked them. I guess I am getting old and not as adventurous in terms of trying out new recipes.

Here are four of the batches I did. I also baked this regular cut out sugar cookies. I forgot to take pictures as I was busy setting up our new dining set and assembling our new tv stand which I am proud to say I did all by myself.

Flowers

A while back I posted flower arrangements our Operations Manager brought to me every week. Before the end of the summer season, we went over to where he gets the flowers. The garden belongs to his ex mother -in-law. Since he had just bought a new house, his garden is not as prolific as was on his old house.

He is close to retiring and I am sure I will miss the flowers. Here are some pictures I took.

As you can see this dahlia is bigger than my face.

Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 4

After the move to Alberta, we noticed he was having a hard time controlling his anger and also not realizing or knowing the consequences of his actions. We had consulted social worker to ask for suggestions to handle him as he started not wanting to go to school. We noticed also his problem of not being able to wake up even with all the alarms and us physically waking him up.

One day, I was reading an article in our city newspaper and there was this item about Attachment Disorder. I continued reading it and realized that the the symptoms of this disorder he was showing.
When his problems got worse, we talked to a psychologist and our family doctor and mentioned about this disorder. At that time, it was not very well publicized and we contacted someone in the US regarding this. And so begin all the tests and meetings with professionals. In the meantime, he was getting worse that I was scared he would hurt his younger brother as he had started to be physical with him. When it got worse that I was really worried about safety, we had to make the decision to get Social Services to have temporary custody of him. It was the most difficult decision.

I was told that he did not want to have any more communication with me and his brother and we respected that. That Christmas, was the first time he came home but that turned into disaster, so by Christmas day, he was back at the residence.

At this time, even the staff at the home was having difficulty dealing with him. Now it was really getting serious that I am now considering giving up parental rights to him. And when I finally had to do that, I went to court and once it was over, I cried all the way home. My lawyer called later that day to check if I was ok.

For a while I told my husband I do not want to hear any of the news about him as I was getting so upset and it was affecting my health. That was also the time, our marriage ended. It was just a lot of differences between us regarding how to deal with his problems. It was also at this time that our son had other serious problem. Police also got involved with some of his problems. This time around, Social Services had permanent custody of him.

Christmas is upon us.....

It seems like Christmas is coming too soon. I have seen a lot of nice Christmas decoration on office lobbies except ours. I don't know if it has something to do with the owner who is Jewish. But our lobby at my residential tower is decorated really beautifully and simply.

I don't decorate my suite too much now but I might take a picture later once I have done a bit of decorating. I have taken this coming Friday off to do my Christmas baking and finalize what we will have for Christmas Eve and day dinner. 

As we have been celebrating by ourselves as we are so far away from family and friends, it has become a quiet and relaxing few days. I know this year we will watch a lot of movies as we bought a big screen tv - 65" 4K HUD.

Company Christmas Party

On the weekend of December 2-4 was our company's Christmas party. Our head office is located in Vancouver and the party was hes there. I work in the Edmonton office so they flew us to Vancouver and put us up to the closest hotel to the office and the party venue. It was just a very expensive 5 course meal at an Italian restaurant downtown.

The party was over at 9:30 and some of us went for a walk. Since I have bruised bone, I only went for a few blocks and went back to the hotel while catching pokemons on the way. Unfortunately I only caught 1 pokemon I don't have on my pokedex.


The next morning we walked to go for breakfast and the rest went to Granville Island. I stayed and walked the waterfront and went to some stores. There was a kitchen store called Cook Culture and I bought a few small items. The staff asked me to write my name and email to enter a raffle. Lo and behold three days later I received an email letting me know I won an Emile Henry ceramic baking set which they have mailed to me since I had to let them know I am from Edmonton.

I only took a few pictures on the water front.

It was a pleasant way to enjoy the weekend. Saturday after lunch, my nephew Anthony picked me up from the hotel and we drove around and I wanted to get special items from a Filipino bakery but they did not have it.

The only frustrating part was our flights were delayed both ways. This was my second flight on WestJet and I don't know if I will fly with them again.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

It is that time of the year when we remember all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice to protect us and so we could live free. Two summers ago I watched the funeral procession for the Edmonton cop who was killed in line of duty. It passed on our street so we went down to watch it and it was sad and you can ladies in tears. Police from all over North America were there.

Early last year on January 25, I saw on the news channel from the Philippines about the massacre of an elite commando unit in the south of the country. It all had to do with Muslims and the problem the country had with them and this has been going on for decades. I remember when we were still in the Philippines and my mother was offered promotion but we had to move to the south. We were scared and I believe we told her we will not be moving as we were scared of the Muslims.

So today I would like to remember the members of this elite group now better known as SAF 44 or Fallen 44. They were members of the Philippine National Police Special Action Forces. When I was reading the news, I realized that these commandos were just the same ages as my two sons.

I offer my sympathy to their families as they left wives, children, parents, brothers and sisters and a few future children. There were wives who were pregnant at that time.

I saw two tributes for them and I am attaching it to this post. One had pictures of them and you will notice how old these guys were. For some reason I can;t attach the tribute with pictures of the oung commandos. They range in age from 26 to 38, most of them were under 30 years old.

This is a video of the return of the commandos. a day of mourning in the Philippines. The bodies were flown back to Manila in 3 C 130 planes.