This is about words and their meanings that have been important or made a difference in my life. Either it taught me a lesson, understood someone, accepted a person's differences and ultimately made me who I am today.
Some words would have very negative connotation but they are the ones where the lessons I learned have made me stronger and better at handling situations in my life. To me it made what is negative turn into a positve.
I won't do it in order but will do it by which letter feels most important or have meaning in my life at the time I feel like posting. So here it goes.....
A - adversity/ies - "a state of continued hardship, affliction, distress or misfortune." All of us will face some kind of adversities in our lifetime. In my case it felt like I had to face it for years and did not think it would ever end. From separation, divorce, illness, death, problem with my sons, and betrayal, it was the most difficult phase of my life. I learned to face them all with courage, support from friends, a lot of hope and understanding. I have also learned to vent my frustrations to very good friends and relative who were/are very understanding. In the end I have learned that it made me a stronger person and more appreciative of what I have in my life now.
B - betrayal - will not even define it. The nastiest word in the dictionary for me and the worst thing a person can do to another person. It is the hardest thing to deal with and could be with a person if one cannot forgive, forever. I have experienced it once at work and another time in a personal relationship. A life changing experience, makes you look at life differently and at people with caution. It makes you lose your trust in people although it only involves one person. But the reaction is to protect yourself so you become wary of people's motives. A great lesson to learn and forces you to process the whole thing so you can forgive and move on. A very heavy baggage to have that could drag you down fast if you do not handle properly. Dealing with this betrayal has really changed me and my outlook in life. I sometimes wonder/cringe at the thought of what would have happened if I was not able to handle it. A lot of thanks to counsellors who know best how give support and understanding.
C - considerate - "showing concern, kindly awareness for the rights and feeling of others" I believe this is one virtue in life I would like to always be able to do or show. Sometimes I see people being inconsiderate and it hurts. Sometimes that is all aperson wants to feel, that someone understands them or concerned about them. And it does not take a lot of effort or energy to do or show it. How wonderful the world will be if we just care enough about each other.
D - diligence - " earnest and persistent application to an undertaking, steady effort, attentive care". I feel that this applies to me more on my professional life than personal. I am very careful when I am doing projects that I am paying attention to details and that it comes out just right. At home, this only applies when I am trying new recipes and I make every effort that the first try will work out. I just realize that with blogging that I take extra care that there are no spelling mistakes or what I am trying to say makes sense.
E - enthusiasm - "great excitement for or interest in a subject or cause". I believe that we should have interest or excitement in anything we do. How great it would be if we all have enthusiasm for the life we have even at times it is not what we imagined or hoped it would be. Just to have the interest or excitement in anything we do is great and we would be so bored. Even now I have lost a bit of interest in this post as I found it hard to try and find things that I can associate with each word but after a bit of a break, I got my enthusiasm back and it feels good.
F - friendship/friends - "personal relationship shared between/among people based on mutual caring, trust, and concern for each other." It has its degrees of intimacy. I have a handful of very good friends. And I seem to stick with the ones I find to be loyal friends, the ones I can depend on no matter what. Since I do not have relatives here, I rely on my friends and they have become my family. I am thankful that I have them.
G - generosity - "the liberality in giving or willingness to give or share". Before I always thought that generosity would always involve money, but I have come to realize that it does not have to. I can donate or share my time, ideas or suggestions. I can help someone by giving my time, being a designated driver, or just suggesting ideas that might help someone do something better, easier or faster. A few years ago I thought I was being really generous by having foster children through The Plan and I had 5 at one time, but realized it was more rewarding to do something and not just write a check or letter. Whatever it is, donating to the food bank, feeding the homeless or driving a friend to a doctors's appointment it always feels good that I have given or shared.
H - happiness - "state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy". Everyone aspires to be happy. For a time I believed that things/persons or conditions are what will make me happy. As I got older I have come to realize that they may contribute to my happiness. And that I alone am responsible for my happiness. Today, happiness to me is being healthy, a fun and enjoyable time with a friend, a positive comment from a co-worker, a nice and meaningful email from a relative, finishing a project, or watching the sunset from my balcony. Little things, but they give me a good feeling inside.
I - indifference - "unbiased, impartial, unconcern, naive, inappropriate lack of concern or emotion". To me a very bad word, comparable to how I feel about betrayal. I have to list it here as I feel like I have been treated with indifference just a few months ago and it made me enraged at the person. I could feel the total lack of concern or emotion and the person did not have to say a lot, it is what was not said or just how it felt. The friendship I believe ended exactly a few seconds after that and for good.
J - just - "guided by truth, reason, fairness or rightness". I hope that I would also be guided by truth, reason and be fair. In dealing with people sometimes I am not aware of how I treat people until later on when things happen and I have time to reflect and realize my actions. There are times when I am disappointed at myself and times when I am proud of what I have done. It is a process and I will try and make sure to be always fair or right. I have always felt that having come from a different country and having experienced discrimination though only on a few ocassion, I feel like I am always trying to be fair or wanted to be treated fairly. But then again life is not fair. So I have learned to deal with it.
K - kindness - " the quality of being warmhearted, considerate, humane and sympathetic." A very good trait to have. In this weird world we live in, it feels like there is not a lot of kindness shown to people. But once you are shown a kind act, it stays with you for a long time or forever. One great act of kindness I have received was about 5 years ago. I have been ill and have taken a lot of days off. I was a Site manager at that time and my maintenance manager had offered to donate his vacation time he had accumulated if I ever needed anymore days off. To this day, I have found that the ultimate act of kindness and generosity. In my job, there is a lot of opportunities to do this and I have taken them every time I get the chance and the results have been very rewarding. We all need to do any kind of random acts of kindness.
L - laughter - "the experience or manifestations of amusement, delight, joy or occasions of humour". As the saying goes laughter is the best medicine. A very positive sound you can ever hear anywhere. I have memories of good laughter when having conversations with friends and it just makes you feel good and really makes your day and it is contagious. The world would be a better place if people can laugh about anything. At times laughter is also a way of hiding a person's nervous feelings or fear. No matter what, it is a wonderful sound.
M - memories - "the ability to recall, retain, or store information, ideas or past experiences". I can honestly say that I consider myself to have a good memory. The bad part of that is when I remember stuff that have very negative effect on me, I tend to remember it vividly. Sometimes I remember the incident word for word, or I feel the emotions involved and I feel like it is again happening. Iwish I could just remember the good ones but I believe that is not possible. I forget that when the very wonderful memories come up, it brings a smile to my face and gives me a good feeling/karma. But then the bad ones are still a part of my life and could be the ones that made me learn the hard lessons.
N - negativity - "expressing, containing or consisting of a negation, refusal, denial". I can't help but notice that the word below this, is in a way the opposite. I don't know of any person who has not been negative at some point in their lives. But to experience it or see friends or relatives being negative is annoying. It ruins whatever emotion or mood I am in at that time. It is destructive and makes life miserable. I try not to dwell on negative things but there are situations where it is difficult to be optimistic or positive and I work hard to get out of it as fast as I could.
O - optimism - "the tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the most hopeful aspects of a situation". There was a time when dealing with illness, betrayal, family problems all at the same time was getting me down and depressed, it was really hard to be optimistic or have hope that everything will turn around. But I have learned that all these baggage will not be lifted if I do not start doing something about it. And so I started with forgiveness with the betrayal and some kind of acceptance with the illness and slowly got the feeling that with some optimism, it is easier to deal with all the problems.
P - persistence - "the act of persevering, determination, refusal to give up". When I feel that there is a problem I need to get solution, I don't easily give up. Last summer on the way back from holiday, we had an incident on Air Canada flight and I felt that it was not resolved with the flight crew and I made sure that when I got home, I will have to do something about it and I emailed the President of Air Canada and got resolution to the problem. And this week I had another situation with Hyundai dealership here and emailed the General Manager and Sales Manager and got it resolved a few days ago. If it was not, I would have contacted BBB or one of the tv stations and see if I will get an answer. In my personal life, I am determined to find or get answers that I need to get some kind of resolution and closure especially if I strongly believe I am entitled to an answer. Only exception.....computer problems!!!!
Q - quick witted - " quick in perception and understanding, mentally alert and sharp". A few of my close friends have described me as this but I think most times it involves my sense of humour. Sometimes, I am too quick to respond with something funny and at times, I get into trouble because my response is a bit too harsh but it comes from what I truly believe. I have been told I am way ahead when talking that sometimes I do not finish what I am saying and go on a different tangent and in different direction. I see at times when I am typing. My mind goes too fast for my fingers.
R - resilience - "positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity". To me it is being able to bounce back. With all the adversities I had to face, I had been told that I am resilient. I thought about that and felt that yes, I have slowly learned to bounce back from whatever negative situation I am facing. And it feels good. Even though it takes time, somehow I know I will get there.
S - sincerity - "quality or condition of being honest, genuineness, freedom from deceit or hypocrisy, speaking truly of one's feelings, thoughts or desires". I believe that this is one virtue I would like people to see or feel when I am expressing myself. After having been betrayed, I have felt that I am more aware of how I say things and that I am sincere in what I say and I speak truly of how I feel and that for me means being genuine and myself. Sometimes, it is difficult because I don't want to hurt someone but it is important that they know how I feel and what I mean.
T- trust - "firm reliance for the integrity, surety, ability or character of a person". One very important quality I had to deal with after a betrayal. It shattered all the belief you have in a person. So very hard to get back or give back and takes a long time to process and deal with.
When you trust a person, it feels good and safe. Just like respect, I believe this one is also earned.
U - understanding - "mental quality, act or state of a person who comprehends, understands, sympathetic awareness". A trait that I would like to have all the time in dealing with people or situation. I know I have this quality because I had to deal with a friend who has a very different problem and when I was told about it, I tried to understand it and process it so I don't become judgmental. I read books on the subject and I smpathize and in time learn to accept it. It made me very aware of the differences in people.
V - venting - "a means or escape or release from confinement, an outlet as to vent anger/stress"
This is one thing I have recently done often or when the need arises. It helps me deal with anger, stress, problems without getting all emotionally messed up. Once I have done it, I feel better and relieved. A very good tool in life. And to all those friends/relatives (you know who you are) who get my phone calls and hear these words....Oh, I just want to vent or I am just venting, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and you are the reasons why I believe I am mentally and emotionally stable. Ooooh, that felt like a mini venting blog post.
W - wisdom - "the ability to discern or judge what is true, right or lasting, common sense, good judgment". The one thing in life I hope to achieve - wisdom to do what is right, or true and make the right decision based on that. The wisdom to accept or learn life's tough lessons and learning to live with your decisions whether it is right or wrong. The wisdom to accept and deal with what life throws at me. I am still going through the process.
X - xanadu - "idyllic, wonderful or beautiful place". We all want to find our own xanadu. For me my xanadu is where I live. I try to make it wonderful, simple and comfortable. It would have been nice if the climate is warmer but it is where I work, where my friends are and it is where I had a second chance at life. It is my home sweet home.....
Y - yearning - "a persistent, often wishful or melancholy desire, longing". Don't we all yearn for something one time or another. I am sure I have felt this or have yearning for a good relationship with my sons. But my lifelong yearning is travelling and I am feeling at times that I might not be able to do it but I still continue to wish and I hope soon, I will fulfill what I have yearned for.
Z - zest for life - "stimulating or exciting quality, hearty enjoyment, enthusiasm" The most important thing to have. After an illness where I did not know whether I will surivive it or not, I
feel like that my zest for life has improved. Life is full of surprises, some are positive and a few negative ones, I have experienced that if I do my best and not get so down, things will improve and I start looking forward to the future. There are times when my life seemed to be going nowhere but I have always maintained some kind of hope and still enjoy it and am excited about what will come next. All in all, I am quite content where I am at this point in my life and now looking forward to my retirement. When that will be is yet to be decided....I still enjoy working. I just know that whatever it is, I still have zest for life, my wonderful life.
So there....the ABCs of my life....words that may have affected, influenced, experienced, learned lessons, changed, made a difference, turned my life around. These are the factors that contributed to who I am today. Posting it and preparing it has also helped me look at myself and see how far I have gone to be the person I want to be....it is a continuous process.
