The Temptations - Give Love On Christmas Day (Gordy Records 1980)

This is one song we all grew up listening but the Jackson 5 version or the original version. The words
really describe what is the most important gift which is love. Everybody needs love not only on Christmas but everyday. so today and everyday, let us try to give love to family, friends and everyone else.

Merry Christmas to everyone and thanks for stopping by.

The Legacy of An Adopted Child - Conclusion

In the last 3 years there was hardly any communication with him. He was seriously involved with this girl and they kept breaking up and making up. And the girl got pregnant. The one time he called was to announce this. But the relationship has become really bad and physical. They had a baby girl born November. It is sad to say that I have not seen the baby except one picture on my younger son's phone. I had sent them 2 big bags of present and a crocheted blanket and even my sister made a nice baby blanket. But there was never a thank you.

About a year after the birth of the baby, there was a serious fight and the police was involved and he was given restraining order. But after sometime both of them ignored the order and lived together until another serious altercation and he was charged. Now he is facing serious charges. He does not see the baby anymore according to his father. The baby is now 2 years old.

About the same time, the orphanage from where we adopted him got in touch with him saying his birth mother is requesting to communicate with him. At first he did not know what to do and did not reply but later, he communicated with him. The birth mother communicated with his father to ask what was his childhood like. Then she requested to connect with my younger son although there was never any communication with him. I do not know who else she was communicating but there was never a request to communicate with me. I knew that it would not happen and never expected it.

A few days ago, my former husband told me that he lives very close to where I live. I have managed not to let him know where I had been living. He has a new girl friend. I do not know if there is still communication with his birth mother. I was told she wanted him to fly to the Philippines but at this time it is not possible for him to do that. The birth mother mentioned to my ex husband that she may travel to the Philippines.  I also found out that he has also communicated with his birth father who works in UAE.

When we adopted my only hope was that it would turn out ok. But I was also realistic that there have been a lot of cases where it has not turned out well. I have no regrets and deep within me, I believe that I have done my best and that is all I can do. He is an adult now and whatever or whoever he turned out to be was mostly his decision. And we are all responsible for any action we have taken.

Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 4

After the move to Alberta, we noticed he was having a hard time controlling his anger and also not realizing or knowing the consequences of his actions. We had consulted social worker to ask for suggestions to handle him as he started not wanting to go to school. We noticed also his problem of not being able to wake up even with all the alarms and us physically waking him up.

One day, I was reading an article in our city newspaper and there was this item about Attachment Disorder. I continued reading it and realized that the the symptoms of this disorder he was showing.
When his problems got worse, we talked to a psychologist and our family doctor and mentioned about this disorder. At that time, it was not very well publicized and we contacted someone in the US regarding this. And so begin all the tests and meetings with professionals. In the meantime, he was getting worse that I was scared he would hurt his younger brother as he had started to be physical with him. When it got worse that I was really worried about safety, we had to make the decision to get Social Services to have temporary custody of him. It was the most difficult decision.

I was told that he did not want to have any more communication with me and his brother and we respected that. That Christmas, was the first time he came home but that turned into disaster, so by Christmas day, he was back at the residence.

At this time, even the staff at the home was having difficulty dealing with him. Now it was really getting serious that I am now considering giving up parental rights to him. And when I finally had to do that, I went to court and once it was over, I cried all the way home. My lawyer called later that day to check if I was ok.

For a while I told my husband I do not want to hear any of the news about him as I was getting so upset and it was affecting my health. That was also the time, our marriage ended. It was just a lot of differences between us regarding how to deal with his problems. It was also at this time that our son had other serious problem. Police also got involved with some of his problems. This time around, Social Services had permanent custody of him.

Christmas is upon us.....

It seems like Christmas is coming too soon. I have seen a lot of nice Christmas decoration on office lobbies except ours. I don't know if it has something to do with the owner who is Jewish. But our lobby at my residential tower is decorated really beautifully and simply.

I don't decorate my suite too much now but I might take a picture later once I have done a bit of decorating. I have taken this coming Friday off to do my Christmas baking and finalize what we will have for Christmas Eve and day dinner. 

As we have been celebrating by ourselves as we are so far away from family and friends, it has become a quiet and relaxing few days. I know this year we will watch a lot of movies as we bought a big screen tv - 65" 4K HUD.

The Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 3

December 1986.... a few weeks before Christmas, my husband and brother -in-law travelled to the Philippines to pick up the baby. Our friends and relatives commented that two guys will have to handle the baby and finalize the adoption process. I was 5 months pregnant and the doctor did not approve of me travelling at this stage. I stayed home and prepared the nursery and all the stuff we needed and all the things to be done as it was also very close to Christmas.
Both guys were so busy with the closing of the adoption process that a relative of my brother-in-law was hired to take care of the baby. I was told over the phone that it was a very active 18 month old baby. Two days before Christmas they got back with the baby. It was a joyous day and since we live in a small city, it seems everyone knew.

And yes, he was a very active baby. At one point, I did not know how to handle him. My father was most excited and he would come and visit and help. He would play with him and teach him how to say words in English. He used to watch Sesame Street and being in Canada there is French part in the show. He was interested in French that when it was time to go to Kindergarten, he would end up going to the French Immersion side of the Catholic school. At a very young age we noticed how he can pick up new things easily. He can assemble toys we would buy him but we noticed too that he got quite upset if he can't do it right the first time. At the age of six we enrolled him in karate to learn discipline and he was really good at it that when we left  North, he was getting close to getting his black belt.

Once we moved to Alberta, in a quiet suburb close to Edmonton he was enrolled in French immersion in a French school. We noticed too about his problem controlling his anger. But he did very well in school. 

Pondering about Retirement

When I turned 50, I used to think about being close to retirement or wondering if I would retire early. But as I got closer to 60, I wondered if I should retire early and now that I am very close to retirement age, I am scared to retire because I think and feel that I will be bored.

At work they had asked me if I will retire and I had told them that I believe I will continue to work. If my health will dictate that I need to stop working then I will retire.

I know people who retired and now they are back in the workforce. Most of them say they got bored. And some are so busy after they retired, they are harder to catch than a pokemon. 

I thought of things I can do but it does not interest me. Yes I can volunteer, travel or just take it easy. With what is happening in the world now, it is a bit scary to travel but I still have a list of places I want to visit. For now, I feel that I still like to go to work even though at times I feel like...oh it would be nice to be retired. But that only lasts for a few days.

Downtown Living

When we moved to Alberta from the North, we lived in a city which is just next to Edmonton. I used to drive to Edmonton for work and at first I did not mind it. In the winter time it was hard especially when we get a lot of snow. Then we moved to Edmonton and it was closer to work and most of jobs I had, I worked in the same building which is very convenient. I had a job I took and I could move downtown, which I did not really like at first. I thought about the noise, the homeless and all sorts of things. But it grew on me and I must admit I like the convenience of it. I can walk to the grocery store, pharmacy, theaters, my dentist, eye doctor and to work. There are restaurants, pubs, coffee shops and diners of all kinds of cuisines. Now I don't think I can go back to the suburbs.

Just last week when I was out for my walk I took again pictures of the different things I see.

That is the Provincial Legislature on the top, one of the fountains on the grounds and another big planter close to the government centre.

I remember this water feature on the Legislative grounds, a while back we would walk at lunch time in our flip flops and we will wade here and enjoy the cool water especially on a hot day.

The Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 2

The year was 1984...my husband (now ex) and I travelled to the Philippines to attend my grandmother's funeral. While there, we met a few of my college friends and at one of these meetings, the topic of adoption was brought up. At that time I had been married for 11 years and never got pregnant. At another meeting, a close college friend talk to the nuns at the college I attended and suggested to us to visit this one particular orphanage. We did and had a very informative conversation with one of the nuns. After coming back from the trip, we decided to call Social Services in our city and got more information about international adoption.

After a few months of talking and getting more information, we finally decided to apply for international adoption. So we started filling out forms and getting documents and having home study done, applying for security and police clearance. A year later, our application was approved, now it is choosing the child we would raise. I believe we were offered a cute baby boy but with heavy heart we had to decline for medical reason. Then another baby boy was suggested and I remember very well that one of the nuns had mentioned that he looks a bit like me so it is a good match. After reading all the information they sent us, we decided to go for this baby. In August of 1986, we finally signed all the documents. At one point in time, the nuns asked what will I do if I get pregnant while the process is going on and I replied we would still go through the adoption. In September of that year, I was doing exercises with a friend of mine and I complained about soreness in my breast and she said...You are pregnant! I said I could not be. To make long story short, I went to see my doctor and he confirmed that indeed I was pregnant. A few months later, while I was on my regular check up, he wanted to do another ultra sound as he told me that he is concerned that I could be carrying twins. When I told my husband this, his comment was...oh we have to get two cribs. I screamed at him, and said gosh you are worried about two cribs, I am scared of how we would take care of 3 babies. It felt like I was carrying triplets.

Legacy of an Adopted Child - Part 1

This is the title of a poem given to us by the nuns at the orphanage where we adopted our oldest son. It was printed in a nice paper and the letters were blue. The author is unknown. 

Once there were two women,

Who never knew each other

One you do not remember,

The other you called mother.

Two different lives

Shaped to make yours one.

One became your guiding star,

The other became your sun.

The first gave you life

And the second taught you to live it

The first gave you a need for love,

And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,

The other gave you a name.

One gave a seed of talent,

The other gave you an aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile,

The other dried your tears.

One gave you up- -

It was all that she could do

The other prayed for a child

And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me

Through your tears,

The old age question 

Through the years:

Heredity or environment

Which are you a product of?

Neither, my darling--neither

Just two different kinds of love.

I still have that piece of paper in mint condition and I have given a copy to my son when I believed he could understand the meaning of the poem and might help him deal with his adoption.

To post or not to post.....

That's the question. I have just realized how long since I last posted. I really do not have an excuse or reason. I have been busy both at work and at home. I have done a lot of baking and I have a really good cinnamon buns recipe. I have baked them two weekends in a row.

Last night I baked two loaves of bread as I realized we have no bread at home. Then this morning made french toast. On Super Bowl Sunday, I made pok pok wings which turned out really well.

Next I am going to try hawaiian buns which I have eaten while visiting my sister in San Jose. I have googled recipes and I think that's the one I will try next weekend. Since it will be a long weekend for us here in Alberta, I will be baking a lot. I have ordered cinnamon from my sister.

At work, it has been busy as they had let go my  assistant and we have more properties to. manage. I hope the recruiting agency finds one soon.

The weather the past week had  been nasty cold. I guess I should not complain as we had really warm weather and will get warmer again in a few days.

Thanks for stopping by.

The journey continues....

And so I go on and it does not stop me from experiencing new things. Sometimes it takes a bump for me to realize that life goes on. I was even surprised that once I have decided to move forward and an incident happened that you may want to look back, I felt that it is better just to move on.

It is one of those cliches that you do not realize what you have until you lose it.  So true.

And sometimes things start to happen and I'm just going to enjoy it being careful not to lose myself in the process. 

And I hope to post more once I'm comfortable writing a few personal stuff. 

This will be short. Thanks for stopping by.

Moving forward.....

Well, my life journey has been riddled with little bumps so the only thing to do is move forward and try not to look back. There are still a lot of interesting stuff happening and when there is exciting news to post, I will do it.

As I have posted, I'm working with a different company. I just got our Christmas party invitation and our company is flying us to our head office in Vancouver. Now, my problem is who to take as my guest.

I have an idea who and just waiting if the guest can come. I was told I should put the two names I'm thinking and pick like in a raffle. I have 3 weeks to RSVP. Will post who will be my guest....pictures at the party.

Thanks for stopping by.

Long distance relationship

Does it work? It takes a lot more work than a normal relationship. It also depends a great deal on the commitment of the individuals involved. I really don't know if there is a difference on how far the distance is.

I believe that trust and loyalty are the two values each person needs. I know 2 people who were on long distance relationship and it worked for both of them. They are both happily married.

I on the other hand was involved in long distance relationship for 6 years and thought it would work but sadly didn't. I can say that I'm the loyal one and the other individual could not commit or be loyal. But we learn from it and we move on.

It is part of life's experiences. I was once asked what I got out of it and my reply was....lots of Aeroplan points. That is the truth!!!!

Would I do it again? It would depend a lot on what type of a person I'm getting involved with. I would be careful and maybe be more observant. 

Thanks for stopping by.

A new job.....

Today is an exciting day for me. I am starting a new job. It is the same type I have been doing for a while but with a different company. I left my previous company because of the unhealthy environment which I believe will not change.

It has become too toxic that while I was on medical leave I made the difficult decision of not going back so I gave my letter of resignation. While my doctor did not want me to be applying for a job, I still tried to just check on line to see what jobs are available. I sent a few resumes and got called in for a few interviews.

Just a week ago, I went for an interview and it felt good while I was there and the Vice President who I will be reporting to offered me the job and I am excited to start. It is close to where I live and I can walk to work although the company offered me free parking which I will take once the weather gets cooler. In the meantime I will walk the 14 blocks and I know I will enjoy it. It will be my daily exercise and it will be good for my diabetes. 

I will miss a few of my coworkers as there were a lot who have left while I was on medical leave so I don't really know or hardly know the remaining staff.

Thank you for stopping by. Enjoy the week.

Friendship.....

While I was on medical leave, I realized who are my true and trusted friends. When I was not really feeling great and needed to talk, I knew the friends who I can depend on and they were the ones who really supported me.

I appreciated the wonderful ways they have found to make sure I was feeling ok. I got text messages and phone calls just asking how I was doing and made sure I was doing what the doctors have told me to do. Even when I did not want to go out, Carole made sure I went out and met her at one of the closest restaurant  close to my place even just to get a drink (virgin drink) and an appetizer.

So to everyone who were concerned and kept me in their thoughts, I thank all of you and I appreciated everything you all have done for me. Also to my sister who came to visit to make sure I was doing better, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You made it easier for me to get well. Thanks for everything and I mean everything.

Back from a long hiatus

Yes, it has been a while. The last time I posted it was April fool's day. And I had not been  feeling well then. I was stressed from my job and other stuff and it took its toll. I had been on medical leave for two and a half months now and finally....thank God! I am on my way to recovery.

I realized that when I started this blog, I was in the midst of changing jobs and so I was going for job interviews. I got the job and that was one of my first postings.

So now that I am coming back from a long break, I am also in the process of changing my professional life so I had been going for interviews and luckily I found a really interesting job. So I resigned from my office where the environment is becoming toxic. I would have wanted to retire from that company but it was not meant to be.

On Monday, I start my job and I am excited about it as I report directly to the Vice President of the company and he is so friendly and down to earth. I also work well with male bosses than female as there is not a lot of drama, sorry gals but that is my experience.

I hope to post more often. I had a wonderful visit from my sister and will post about that later.
Thanks for dropping by. 

Philippines....

Our thoughts are with the survivors of the biggest typhoon that just hit the Philippines. For a while I did not see the news but knew that it was a bad one. I saw coverage of it finally on BBC. And then on CBC and CTV. Then I was watching CNN and saw that Anderson Cooper would be reporting from the Philippines.

I thought then that this is probably worst as Anderson always goes to the most devastated are of any natural disasters. Sure enough it was. The pictures of the area and the survivors could make a macho man cry.

So every night during AC360 I would watch and after about 2 days, it seems like some, actually a few Filipinos did not like what he was reporting. And one reporter did a blind item on him which did not come as blind really. But if she thought, I would not mention her name here, that the Filipinos would support what she did...well she had it coming....nasty backlash from the people. It was interesting to read the comments and I hope somebody sent AC the link so he would know that 99% of the people supported him.

I also hope that with all the donations, that most of it will go to the survivors and not the pocket of some politicians. No wonder the people do not trust the officials from previous experience.

As what most Filipinos know, we are very resilient people and we can move on. Let us all try to help in any way we can. Our prayers are with those who will have to rebuild their lives. 

It has been a while......

I realize that I have not blogged in a while and while I told a friend of mine that I would sign in and then after a few seconds I would sign off. I don't know if that is being lazy or just not in the right frame of mind to get started. Anyway, I had been sick with the flu since our Thanksgiving, October 14 and I have not completely recovered from it.

I went to see my doctor and now I am being tested as my blood count is very low. A lot of things have happened and I have been busy at work and gets easily tired because of the low blood count. I have had 2 blood tests done and I have two more to do. Yes, a lot of poking. And I am petrified of needles but being diabetic I have learned to cope with it.

Sometimes I admire those people who blog almost everyday, my sister is one of them. Today, I slept in and took naps and watched tv and did nothing else as I have no energy. 

We had a dusting of the white stuff but not a lot. In the southern part, I believe they got more. This time I am prepared as I have my winter tires installed a week ago so I am ready.

Thanks for dropping by and I will have some pictures to post later. Enjoy the week.

Now too busy....

About a week or so ago, which was my last post, I confessed of my being lazy to blog. Now, in the past week, I was just too busy. Today, I was at work to do a random parkade mirror tag check and I was at work at 6:15 am and together with one of the security staff went down to start the check.

It was just a check of vehicles and that they have their tags. Well, we found drivers who are going way too fast and there was this lady who drove down so fast we had to stop her to tell her to slow down next time. She was so rude and it was really nothing to get upset about. So after the check, I called their parking coordinator to complain about her and that she be sent a memo to slow down.
I found out she is a manager and I guess she thinks she is entitled. While the rest of the drivers were so nice and thought it was a good idea. Some people.....their ego should be checked in at the parkade door.

Last week, I had lunch at the new restaurant across the street from our building. A Vietnamese restaurant, Hoang Long, it was busy and I had the grilled beef with lemon grass which was ok. Then another day, we went to Allegro and I had the linguine frutti di mare. It was really good and had a lot of clams, mussels, calamari and shrimp with white wine garlic sauce. I would go back to this restaurant. The price for that pasta was $21.95, a bit expensive for lunch but worth it. Besides, the company paid for it or was it the Vice President. All the same.

Was home early since I was at work early and had a nice nap. The weather has been warm for this time of the year so I will not complain, I will just enjoy it. So hump day tomorrow....until next time.

Just lazy......

I had a friend asked me if I have stopped blogging and I just realized that I have not posted in a long time. I am just lazy. I would go and think I would post something and I just did not have the energy to think of something to write so I would just go off line.

Some days I thought of something to post but I thought about it and it feels like I am just venting. Now summer is almost over and I am getting to that dreary feeling of winter coming. In fact, I had scheduled an appointment already to get my winter tires installed. I do not want to be in that position last year when snow has come and I still have my all season.

Then I thought I would try to blog everyday just like my sister but I think the longest I had done was a week or maybe 9 continuous days. I have been busy at work and when I get home I am so tired and I am in bed by 9:00 pm.  The fall tv line up has started and I watch shows that are back for this season. I am watching a new series, Cedar Cove and of course Duck Dynasty and Border Security. There's also shows on HGTV which will be starting later this month.

So, I am just lazy and I am ok. Thanks for asking. Maybe I will get the creative juices back in the coming days. Hump day, enjoy the weekend.